White Van Man…again!!!

The driver of a white (and half yellow) van decided he would pull out of a side street and veer across a moving stream of traffic this morning. Not that dangerous really considering there were only three cyclists at the front of the moving stream of traffic – the lovely M and a school kid were up top and I was behind them. She was just in the middle of overtaking the school boy when the van pulled out in front of us. All three of us had to break hard to avoid hitting the damn thing. I looked at the van driver in disbelief as he drove off, then at the missus and at the school kid, who both mirrored my expression. When I caught up with the van at the lights I stood up and gave him “the look”. He didn’t have a care in the world and an apology was the last thing on his mind, so I cycled off with my head shaking. When he caught me up at the next set, he asked if I had a problem:

Me: “Yeh, actually, I do. I’ve got a problem with you’re driving”

Him: “So you have got a problem?”

Me: “Yeh”

Him: “You need help?”

Me: “No, you need help. With your driving. You just pulled out in front of us. Dangerous mate, seriously, you can’t pull out like that. What if you’d have hit me? I’m not sitting in a big tin can like you, I’ve got no protection.”

Him: “You’re crazy. You’ve got a real problem [points to his head].”

Me: Yeh, I have got a problem! With you’re bloody driving! And I’m not fucking crazy [in admittedly slightly crazy voice], you pulled out without looking and nearly ran into me and two other cyclists!

Him: No no no, you’re crazy. No way, never…

Voice from nowhere: YEH YOU DID!!!

I feel thoroughly vindicated as I turn back to see the school kid whizz by! Smugness washes over me as I turned to the driver:

Me: “Ohhhh, so how come he saw you then? You’re the crazy one mate! You need to sort it out!”

The driver’s face was a picture. I’m guessing he didn’t bank on getting caught with me for a grilling at the next three sets of lights either. The school kid and I met up further down the road, where he was thanked and I was much obliged.


One response to “White Van Man…again!!!

  1. Nice story, and they seem to forget you catch up with them at the traffic lights! I don’t want to upset them ‘too much’ in case they get the ol’ knife out though. I think I have given them countless ‘looks’. It is even better when they have witnesses, perhaps clients, they’re trying to impress or kids and they’re setting a bad example. If you are a woman you get extra ‘vulnerability’ brownie points..’you nearly knocked me down (me in skirt with sit up and beg bike and basket…). I don’t look like a lycra ‘lout’. I have had people looking apologising just because ‘I am a vulnerable girly’! It is like being a little old lady, you can use that. At the end of the day, you want to make sure the motorist never dreams of doing it again!

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